Let's be honest: most of us are terrible at buying gifts. Not because we don't care, but because we overthink it, panic, or (worst of all) project our own wishful thinking onto someone else. You buy your sister a juicer because you want to drink more vegetables. You buy your dad a "world's best dad" mug because you've run out of ideas and it's funny, right? (It's not.)

The truth is, the gifts people actually want are rarely the gifts we think they want. So here's a reality check, served with a bit of honesty and zero sentimentality.

You Think She Wants: A Spa Day Voucher

She Actually Wants: Something she can use at home, in her pyjamas, without having to book an appointment three months in advance or make small talk with a therapist called Sienna.

Spa vouchers sound luxurious in theory. In practice, they expire unused in a drawer because she's too busy, too tired, or too British to actually ring up and book the thing.

What works instead: a beautiful candle that turns a Tuesday night bath into something special. Earl of East's Shinrin-Yoku or Jardin de Lune will get used every single week, not forgotten in a wallet. Pair it with a decent hand wash - Malin+Goetz does this brilliantly - and you've given her the spa experience without the faff of leaving the house.

The lesson: give her the luxury, skip the logistics.

You Think He Wants: Novelty Socks

He Actually Wants: Literally anything else.

Novelty socks are the gift equivalent of giving up. "I didn't know what to get you, so here's a pair of socks with avocados on them. Hilarious, right?"

No. Not hilarious.

If you're going down the sock route, and fine, socks can be a good gift, make them proper ones. Arctic Nordic socks from Finland are warm, well-made, and the sort of thing he'll actually wear instead of leaving in the bottom of a drawer until they're donated to a charity shop still in the packet.

Better yet, get him something he'd never buy himself but will use constantly: a decent watch that elevates every outfit, a bottle of Blomb or Malin+Goetz fragrance that doesn't smell like a sixth-former's first night out, or Barner blue-light glasses if he spends his life staring at screens. These are thoughtful, useful, and show you've paid attention.

The lesson: if it's meant to be funny, it's probably a terrible gift.

You Think They Want: A "Unique" Piece of Art from That Market Stall

They Actually Want: Something they can actually integrate into their home without it clashing with everything they own.

We've all been there. You see a brightly painted wooden giraffe at a craft fair and think, "This is so them!" Except it's not. It's a giraffe. It's enormous. And it will live in their loft forever because they're too polite to bin it.

Art and homeware are deeply personal. Unless you know their taste inside out, it's safer to go for something functional and stylish that fits any aesthetic. A StolenForm ceramic vase works in a minimalist flat or a maximalist terrace. A set of Helm diffusers or wax melts adds fragrance and atmosphere without taking up visual space. An Earl of East candle is always, always welcome.

If you genuinely want to buy them something decorative, choose something with restraint: neutral tones, clean lines, quality materials. Avoid anything that demands to be the focal point of a room unless you're absolutely certain it's their style.

The lesson: when in doubt, choose taste over personality.

You Think She Wants: A Giant Handbag She'll Never Use

She Actually Wants: Accessories she'll reach for every single day.

Handbags are a minefield. Get the size wrong, the colour wrong, the vibe wrong, and you've just spent £200 on something that lives in a cupboard judging you. Unless she's explicitly asked for a specific bag, steer clear.

What actually works: sunglasses. A great pair of Barner sunglasses makes her feel like she's got her life together, even if she's just nipping to Tesco. They're practical, stylish, and universally useful. Same goes for jewellery — but keep it simple. Delicate, timeless pieces she can wear daily, not statement earrings that only work with one specific outfit.

The lesson: daily-use items beat statement pieces every time.

You Think He Wants: A "Hilarious" Apron or BBQ Tool Set

He Actually Wants: To be taken seriously as an adult human.

If he genuinely loves cooking and has expressed interest in specific kitchen equipment, fine. Buy him the knife he mentioned. The cast-iron pan. The fancy olive oil.

But if you're buying him an apron that says "Grill Sergeant" because you vaguely remember him cooking burgers once in 2019, you're not giving a gift. You're giving a costume for a personality he doesn't have.

Instead: think about what improves his actual daily life. A proper leather wallet that will age beautifully. A sleek bottle opener (our eight-ball one is a favourite). A fragrance he wouldn't buy himself but will wear constantly. These aren't flashy, but they're used, appreciated, and never ironic.

The lesson: jokes aren't gifts. Gifts are gifts.

You Think They Want: A Personalised Anything

They Actually Want: Something that doesn't have their name embroidered on it like they're a toddler at nursery.

Personalisation feels thoughtful in your head. In reality, it's often a way of making something generic feel special without actually putting in the effort to choose well.

Exceptions exist: a monogrammed leather journal for someone who genuinely journals daily, or a custom illustration of their home if they've just moved in. But "Mr & Mrs Smith" cushions? A chopping board with their surname? A mug with their face on it? These are not treasured keepsakes. These are things people feel obliged to keep but secretly hate.

Choose something beautiful and well-made that doesn't need their name on it to feel personal. A throw in a colour that suits their home. A watch that matches their style. The thoughtfulness is in the choosing, not the customisation.

The lesson: personalisation is often a shortcut. Choose better, not louder.

You Think New Homeowners Want: Kitchen Gadgets

They Actually Want: Things that make their home feel like theirs, not a show home or a student flat.

Homeowners get inundated with "useful" kitchen gadgets that clutter drawers and never get used. Egg poachers. Avocado slicers. Spiralisers that sounded like a good idea in 2014.

What they actually need: atmosphere. A really good candle that makes a blank room feel lived-in. A set of soft, quality towels. A beautiful throw for the sofa. These are the things that turn a house into a home, and they're rarely the things people buy for themselves in the chaos of moving.

Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew soaps are perfect for guest bathrooms. Helm shower steamers make a rented flat with dodgy water pressure feel like a spa. StolenForm ceramics are sculptural enough to be decorative but functional enough to actually use.

The lesson: don't give them clutter. Give them comfort.

The Golden Rule

The best gifts aren't the ones that made you laugh in the shop. They're the ones the recipient uses, enjoys, and quietly appreciates every time they reach for them.

At Renley Hawthorn, we've curated collections that skip the gimmicks and focus on what people actually want: candles and scents that transform rooms, accessories that get worn constantly, homeware that integrates seamlessly into real life. Not funny. Not quirky. Just genuinely, thoughtfully good.

Shop Gifts for Her, Gifts for Him, Home, Wellbeing, and Accessories and give something people will actually be pleased to receive.